Birthday Wishes
by Crazy Authoresses CAT and AMS
Summary: Nita's first birthday without her mom is coming up, and Kit struggles to break from the cycle of giving her inadvertantly horrible gifts. Can he admit his true feelings for her? And what happens when he consults Carmela for help? A chaotic fluff KN story.
1. Day 1

**Birthday Wishes**

A/N- Have you ever wondered why Diane Duane never sets the books in winter? We've never seen Christmas in the YW universe, or even anyone's birthday! Perhaps there's a reason… This one will be K/N, but there's still Halloween to cover, and I may just make a Dairine/Roshaun fic out of that concept! Well, on to the story! Tell me what you think!

_This year_, Kit thought determinedly, _it'll be different._

The light snowfall outside his window, however, kept falling, taunting him with the fact that winter had indeed started again. And that meant nothing but trouble for Kit. True, they hadn't known each other for much more than two years, but Kit had managed to botch every one of Nita's birthday gifts. It wasn't that he meant to, but everything seemed like a good idea until she unwrapped it. A common affliction in men, Carmela always said. The pair of Harry Potter socks had been awkward; he'd thought that it'd be fun since they were both wizards. You know, head to toe. Yeah, he still cringed at that one. Nita had tried to look happy, but obviously wasn't thrilled. And a wizard can't lie. In fact, he was pretty sure that they had gone into permanent hibernation in her sock drawer, as she had never worn them but once when it was a very desperate laundry day. Then there was last year. He had tried to enchant the wrapping paper into singing Happy Birthday to her when she opened it…. It had ended up screaming at the top of its lungs about how Nita was molesting it. And the present was even worse: an industrial-size bag of chips. Like he said, it all seemed like a good idea until she opened it. Then the embarrassment started. Between Dairine and Carmela's tauntings over last year, he was seriously considering not giving Nita a gift and forking over some cash. Just as he was considering how much he should give her and if he should risk a card, Carmela snuck up behind him and ruffled his hair.

"El nino…" She purred maliciously, "Whatcha doin'? Thinking about how you're going to give us some entertainment at Nita's party this year?"

Kit scowled and ruffled her hair back, making her screech like a banshee and run upstairs to fix her ruined curls.

"Fine then!" Carmela shouted down the stairs, "I won't let you in on the Insight of the Woman."

"The Insight of the Woman?" Kit scoffed, "I think you've been watching too much anime."

And yet… it was strangely intriguing. Which was never a good thing with Carmela. Her ideas may be interesting, but then there was that weird sense of humor. Still… she was the best he had.

"Hey! Wait up, 'Mela!" Kit groaned desperately, following his sister up the stairs to her lair.

Carmela's room could have been declared a disaster area. Clothes, make-up, and mangas strew the floor and the desktop was covered in weird-looking DVD covers and Japanese fashion magazines. And, of course, there was Carmela, who Kit was pretty sure could make anywhere she was present a disaster area for more reasons than messiness.

_She could definitely use a black hole in here…_Kit thought fearfully, sidestepping to avoid some sort of torture device for women.

"So the grasshopper wants to learn now, huh?" Carmela grinned evilly, fiddling with the control on her "curling iron", "Well, you could get her one of these. They're useful for hair-- and stalkers.

Kit was still skittish around the thing with Carmela as the wielder, but he didn't want to even think of Nita in a rage having one… or Dairine getting ahold of it.

"She doesn't have any stalkers." Kit groaned, "And she doesn't really do her hair. It just dries like that… in perfect auburn waves… smelling like rose petals… "

Carmela cleared her throat, snapping Kit out of his daydream.

"Are you sure? I see a Nita-stalker right here in front of me."

Kit blushed appropriately, then sighed.

"Do you think you can help a hopeless case like me, Carmela?"

Sucking up never hurt with her, and soon his method worked. Carmela smirked and set down her curling iron.

"Do you just want help getting her a gift or do you want to win the heart of the fair lady, too?"

"HEY! I don't like Nita like that! We're just partners and I want to make sure that she'll get a good gift from me for once on her birthday. There is absolutely nothing going on between the two of us more than being friends and partners." Kit shouted, leaping up from his chair.

"I thought you punks couldn't lie." Carmela said, smiling fiercely enough to show all of her teeth.

"That's only when we talk in the Speech. And I'm not lying! Just tell me what the perfect gift is!"

"Only if you say that you don't like Nita like _that_ in the Speech."

Suddenly the room looked a lot smaller, and everything was making his claustrophobic. There was only one option: bolting. And like any sane male he did just that, running out of the room and down the stairs at top speed, fueled by panic.

"Sorry, 'Mela! I think Ponch needs to be taken out!" He shouted up the stairs.

_Boss…_ Ponch panted with that sly little dog-grin plastered on his face, _You__ do know that you're terrible at that, right?_

_Yeah. _Kit sighed miserably.

Just as he thought that he was off the hook, Carmela came thundering down the stairs.

"Come on, bro. We're going for a walk. I'll cut you a deal on this one. Free, genuine help from your big sis."

Free and genuine with Carmela were rarely just that. Kit looked at her suspiciously, but shrugged and pulled on his down jacket. Outside, the first layers of snow had settled, which normal people would find enchanting, or "magical". It was like sand in an hourglass to Kit, though, waiting to bury him, telling him that this year would be like all the others. After all, he only had eight days left to organize anything, and even magic had its boundaries. Maybe it was better to just get her a nice, sappy card…

"Now." Carmela grinned, interrupting the defeated silence, "What we need is a game plan. What does Nita want more than anything?"

Kit sighed; he knew pretty well what Nita wanted most, but it wasn't exactly possible to grant, no matter how much he may want to. He kicked at the snow with the toe of his boots, sending a small flurry into the air.

"I don't mean to get philosophical or psychological, but I think that'd be her mother. It _is_ her first birthday without her. And I obviously can't grant that kind of birthday wish."

Carmela sighed sadly as he sat down on a park bench. She patted him on the back encouragingly, but what could she say? He'd got the right idea (for once), though she'd been hoping for something easy like a new outfit or a cute little stuffed animal. Still, no Rodriguez had ever backed down once the gauntlet had been thrown. But… there wasn't much chance of fulfilling this challenge ethically. Straining her brain for a few minutes, a light went off in her diabolical little head. One way remained. A perfect idea, if she did say so herself. A grin lit up her face and she pulled Kit off the bench.

"I've got it!" She sang, humming a victory theme song while Ponch pranced around her feet exuberantly.

An utter and complete desolation washed over Kit. When Carmela got this happy about a plan, no good could come of it.

_Why did I even ask her in the first place?? At least she isn't a wizard… _Kit thought, thanking his lucky stars until it occurred to him that she was in contact with several forms of alien life that may not regard death in quite the same way as Earth.

"CARMELA!" He groaned, running after his sister, "If you try to use necromancy, I'll never forgive you! And neither will the Powers!"

Carmela gave him a flash of that mischievous grin, and winked at him.

"No need to worry, el nino, I'm not that stupid, you know. Anime has taught me not to screw with dead people if I don't feel like be possessed or something. Anyways, my idea is completely legit, but if you want to pull it off, you better hurry up."

Ponch tugged at his leach as Carmela ran ahead. Not even being half-pulled down Camelot Drive by an attention-hungry black lab could break him from the growing feeling of apprehension building up. Could Carmela actually know what she was talking about or would things just crumble beneath him like they always did?

Ponch strained at his leach and panted.

_You know, it can't possibly be worse than Harry Potter socks, boss. _He smirked.

_Aww__, shut up…_Kit grinned, chasing after his one hope of a perfect gift, Ponch laughing at his side.

Hopefully this wouldn't be the biggest catastrophe yet…

A/N- What kind of gift did Carmela's evil little mind think of? Stay posted for the next chapter to find out! Sneak peak: Dairine gets involved in the preparation, and mayhem results. Will everything be organized in time? And what does Nita actually want? Donating to the charity of the Periwinkle box will make me update faster! Well, thanks for reading!

Come on… you know you want to click on me…


	2. Day 1, Part 2

Birthday Wishes

Chapter Two

A/N- First off, let me apologize for how very, very long it's been since I updated this story. It was very naughty of me to keep you all waiting like that. I'm sorry; I'll be speedier in the future! Also, anyone who reviewed has my eternal gratitude. You guys rock hard-core and I promise I'm trying to get better at replying to my reviews. Augh, though! I want a bloody YW movie to come out! If Eragon can do it, YW sure as heck can. It's clearly superior. Well, R and R, s'il te plait!

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Kit's breath was coming in short, hard bursts and he cursed his sister mentally.

_'Why did she have to set off running like some kind of shoujo anime twit? Isn't walking good enough for her?'_

Ahead of him, Carmela stopped abrubtly and put a hand on her hip in triumph. Kit, oblivious to anything but his own thoughts kept running and ploughed into her (sharp) elbow.

"Oww." he moaned.

Carmela glared at her brother and rubbed the arm he'd crashed into.

"You should be more aware of your surroundings, Kit. I bet you didn't even realize where we were going." Carmela smirked in her best superior voice.

She was right, though Kit would have never admitted it. He looked at their destination and gulped.

"Th-This is Nita's house! What do you think you're doing? I'm not ready to talk to her!"

Carmela let out a long-suffering sigh.

"You talk to her every day. In fact, you practically go to her house every day. What's the problem?"

"You know what I mean! You can't just spring something like this on me!"

Carmela grinned. "Sure I can! In fact, I think I just did."

Kit's eyes widened in panic and he mentally started to prepare his beam-me-up spell.

"Chill out. I was just messing with you." Carmela chuckled, rolling her eyes, "This was just an exercise to make you realize how pathetic you are. And, you know, just plain exercise."

"...Oh." Kit said, feeling like an idiot.

'Mela was right: he shouldn't be afraid of his best friend. Of course, the best friend part was the problem. If Nita shot him down, things would consistently be more awkward between them than the time he walked into her room while she was still dressing for school (which ranked in the top ten of his all-time favorite moments ever, even if he did get a bruise from her punch). Joking aside, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to risk their partnership just because he loved her a little more than he should.

_No..._ his shoulder angel reminded him, _That path doesn't lead anywhere good. Do you even remember how miserable you were while she was in Ireland... hanging out with Ronan? Worst. Summer. Ever._

Meanwhile, his imaginary shoulder devil rolled its eyes.

_I hope you know the Lone Power is laughing his ass off at you right now._

Kit sighed and shrugged. _I'd laugh at me too._

Carmela cleared her throat loudly and Kit snapped out of his schitzophrenic daydream.

"Enough self-pity, Kit-kat. Look, you can go home now. I have some business to attend to here."

Kit gulped and stepped in front of his sister.

"What do you need to do here?" he said, panicky.

"Don't worry. I won't even talk to Nita. I'm just... gaining an ally." Carmela smirked, pushing past her pale, petrified brother, "I've got a couple errands to run, too. I'll be home later. Byes!"

She gave him one parting "interfere-and-die" look and Kit turned and ran.

_-----_

Fifteen minutes later, Kit stumbled through the door to his house panting heavily. Aware that in the background Ponch was panting just as heavily as he was, Kit absentmindedly picked up Ponch's water bowl and filled it at the sink and set it down without really noticing what he was doing. The canine equivalent of a mischievious expression flitted across Ponch's face as he lapped at the water.

_I think you should give me a biscuit for helping you survive Carmela. _he slobbered, water dripping from his jowls onto the tiled floor. Kit knew that Mama would kill him if she came home to see the small lake, but at the moment, he was more afraid of his sister than his mother.

Kit went to the cupboard, still on autopilot, and even had the box in his hand before he came to his senses.

He glared down at Ponch.

"You're getting better at persuasion, you little sneak..."

Ponch's eyes remained fixed on the box, but his mouth curved upward in a doggish grin.

_Maybe if you weren't so preoccupied by someone, you could have resisted my charm. Nowgimmeabiscuit! _Ponch said jumping frantically to try to reach the box, which Kit held tantalizingly above his head.

"Fine, fine. Just stop trying to knock me over, alright?" he groaned, rubbing the spot on his chest where his hundred pound dog had tried to use him as a ladder.

_Sorry..._ Ponch said, a hint of a whimper in his voice.

This time, it was Kit's turn to look mischevious. He took a biscuit out and quickly returned the box to safety in the cupboard, making sure the door was securely shut. Ponch was starting to get the hang of doorknobs.

"It's all right, Ponch. I'll still give you a snack."

Ponch pranced happily and waited.

"Now sit, boy." Kit grinned evilly.

The over-grown puppy's smile faded immediately.

_Kiit! That's degrading to my species!_

"I guess you don't get anything, then."

After a brief struggle between hunger and pride, hunger won and Ponch plopped onto his hindquarters.

_Happy now? _Ponce sighed, looking pained and slightly shame-faced.

"Err..." Kit mused while throwing the treat, hijacked by his wandering thoughts again. Ponch grinned again between crunches.

_I was talking about you oppressing me, not about you and Nita._

"Ponch! I don't-- I wasn't-- I'm not--" Kit stuttered.

_--Allowed to lie?_

Kit looked at him reproachfully. "That's entrapment. It's just... do you think Carmela can really help?"

_Probably. But then again, in a case like yours, anyone could. I wonder what her price will be, though..._

"She said she'd help for free." Kit said, trying to convince himself she wasn't lying. He failed.

Ponch doggy-laughed.

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. See if I ever give you another biscuit."

_Sorry!_

"Riiight..."

And with that, Kit set off to find something to do that would take his mind off of Nita. He grabbed his dad's morning paper, a soda, and a snack, and headed back up to his room.

----

Barely an hour and a half later, the slamming of the front door accompanied by the rustle of shopping bags heralded Carmela's arrival. Kit resisted the urge to duck under the table and hide.

"Kit-kat! I'm hooome! Where are you hiding? You can run, but you can't hide, you know. "

Kit groaned. Sure, he'd been steeling himself for her arrival, but there wasn't any amount of preparation that could really prepare you for Carmela's actual presence. She sashayed into the kitchen in her special way that drew everyone's attention to her. She had even named her signature move Sexy-No-Jutsu. After all, once an anime fan, always one, and like a ninja move, it could severely incapacitate her opponents. Assuming they were male, at least. In this case, it wasn't that impressive, as the only people whose attention she captivated were Kit and Ponch, who were respectively doing so in nervousness or in hope of another biscuit. She sighed to herself in exasperation. Her talents were being wasted on this crowd. Still, she'd agreed to help Kit woo Nita, and she was going to keep that promise, if only for the sake of her ears. Having a lovesick adolescent brother in the house meant that a nonstop stream of emo music was always emanating from his room. It was almost enough to drown out her J-pop, which was truly a crime. Something had to be done. Which brought her mind back to the small mountain of shopping bags at her side...

Kit glanced at the evidence of a mall spree and gulped, praying that this one was a strictly Earth-based.Carmela grinned in a predatory way, then turned to the fridge, rummaging past the yogurt drinks to where she kept her stash of energy drinks. Choosing a garish pink can, she took one manicured nail, flipped the tab, and took a swig. She was going to need it.

"Aren't you the least bit interested in what's in the bags? Go on, take a look."

Kit hesitantly obeyed, first prodding each bag to make sure it wasn't going explode on him. When he finally pulled out the purchases, he was a little shocked at the normality; all she'd bought were clothes.

"Huh? I thought you were gonna help me with my gift problem, not use me as a human manequin. Besides, all this must have cost you a fortune. There's no way I can pay you back."

Carmela stared into space thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that... but that's not important right now. This one's a freebie. I know a few guys at the mall who cut me a good bargain. Besides, if you're going to try to win a girl, you can't dress like that." she said, eyeing his outfit, "I mean, really, windbreakers are so 90's."

"But I _like_ it..." Kit whined in the keening tone of someone who knows their opinion will be completely disregarded.

"Go on, try them on. I want to see how they fit."

Kit groaned and made a gesture like he was hanging himself with an invisible noose.

"Oh please. Don't be baby, _el nino_." She paused to grin broadly at her pun, then continued, "Girls can spend a day trying things on without finding anything. Be thankful you don't have to be that particular... or shop for yourself, for that matter."

"Fine! I'm grateful, alright?" He muttered sulkily, gathering the bags to take back to his room.

He stopped mid-way through his task and really looked at the bags for the first time.

"Woah, 'Mela. I don't care how good of a discount your friends gave you; there's no way you can afford these clothes on our allowance. I mean, look: Aeroposer, The Pag, Aberzombie and Fetch?" A glint of suspicion flitted through his brown eyes, "Come to think of it, how _did_ you get the money for your portable particle accelerator? Those things cost a mint. Wait a minute... you're not a cocoa dealer, are you? That sort of thing can get you into trouble. And it'll be the kind that not even Neets and I can get you out of."

Carmela favored her younger brother with a scathing glare and tapped her fingernails on the kitchen table in a staccato rhythm that seemed to be counting out how many seconds Kit had left to live. In the farthest corner of the kitchen from the ticking timebomb, Ponch occupied himself with a squeeky toy, knowing that no matter how loyal he was, nothing could get him to put himself between Kit and an annoyed Carmela.

"If you must know, you little mother hen, I got a _legitimate _part-time job with a... publisher. I've done a few freelance articles for them and thought I'd use a some of the money to do something nice for you, _mi hermano_."

When Carmela was angry and lapsed into Spanish, it didn't bode well for anyone in the general vicinity.

"Some of the money, huh? Uhhh... they must pay you decently... and I guess it explains why you've been on the computer so much lately. Whatever, I won't pry."

"Good. Your life has value to you." she cooed sweetly, "NOW STOP STALLING AND GO TRY ON! You know, before I lose my patience."

"Yes'm..." Kit sighed meekly, gathering up the bags.

Staggering under the weight of the packages, he amde his way reluctantly down the hall to his room like a prisoner on death row. In fact, he could practically hear the universe jeering at him with taunts of "Dead man walking...".

"I want to see the outfit I got you at The Pag first! Khaki complements your skin."

Kit cocked an eyebrow and ventured an apprehensive glance into the bags.

"What are you talking about? It's from The Pag-- of course it's khaki." he muttered under his breath.

"Hey! I heard that! You do not get to be a fashion critic while you're wearing that."

Carmela gave the windbreaker another look that was a mix of contempt and disdain, as if just being in the same house as it was enough to send her into an epileptic seisure, giving new meaning to the term 'fashion victim'. Kit, undaunted by his sister's snub of his clothes, continued to mutter to himself.

"Yeah, I'm sure if I dress like a chain-store-fashion-zombie, Neets will immediately fall in love with me. What girl can resist when her date wears screen tees and whisker washed jeans that look like they could've come from her closet? Why don't I just scout ahead and figure out what she's gonna wear and find it in my size?" His eyes went distant as his mind derailed in a firey crash that incinerated all of his coherent, civilized thoughts on contact and left him with daydreams of Nita in a date outfit.

"I hope it's that black skirt..."

Carmela shuddered as her brain processed her brother's last two sentences and her subconscious treacherously linked them together to form a horrifyingly vivid picture of her brother in a tiny black skirt.

"Thanks for the haunting mental image, Kitkat. I may never be able to close my eyes without seeing that ever again. Besides, don't you think you're getting a liitle ahead of yourself? I hate to point it out, but you haven't even asked Nita out yet..."

Kit's ego deflated like the Rodriguez's air mattress always did at the holidays when his obese Great-Aunt Maria came to visit.

"Too harsh, 'Mela."

"That's what sisters are for." she smirked, giving him her most unnerving Chesire Cat grin, "Anway, just think of this as a confidence-building exercise. Now go get dressed, lover boy."

Kit started trudging up the stairs to his room again, then turned around, desperation sweat covering his face in a thin film.

"Really, 'Mela. How am I going to pull this off? I don't think I can even ask her without going all nervous and socially-maladjusted." He pointed at his face, panicked, "I mean look at my nerd sweat-- and that's just from thinking about it. What'll I do when I'm actually in front of her? Pass out?"

"Nah, you'll probably just make a fool of yourself."

"'MELA!"

Carmela grinned and shrugged in the face of her brother's nerous rage.

"What? That's what practically all guys end up doing. May as well bite the bullet and get it over with, eh?"

"Thanks for the encouragement. See if I ever try to fix you up with Ronan now..."

Carmela's eyes narrowed a bit and her eyes seemed to burn a little. For a moment of two, Kit shook inwardly and wondered what the hell he'd been thinking to bring up his sister's mega-crush.

_Idiot. Enjoy your last few moments of life before she uses her particle accelerator on you "by accident"._

Finally, Carmela broke the awkwardness with a chuckle.

"Touche! No need to get vicious! Don't worry. I have just the way to make sure you can face her without much mortal embarassment. But that brings me to one of my terms: you've gotta help me get a date with that hot gothic lucky charms leprechaun."

Kit groaned-- it was as he'd dreaded: she'd said "one of the terms". He was gonna regret going to her for help for a long time. Carmela noticed his reticence and rolled her eyes and threw up her hands in disgust.

"You are clueless, huh? It's a favor for both you and me. Think of it this way: it gets rid of one of the competition pretty darned effectively."

A meek "Oh." was all Kit could manage. He wasn't used to the skill of the female mind at plotting.

"Fine. It's a deal." he held out his hand for a contractual handshake. Carmela pushed it away.

"Weeell, you get partial credit. It's part of a deal, you mean."

Kit gulped.

"Crap..."

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A/N: Ah, semi-cliffy, how I love thee. What did Carmela do at Nita's house? What else is Kit going to have to subject himself to? Will I update in less than a year? Find out in the next chapter! And until then, help an author out with motivation and leave a review.

Periwinkle Button: I seee you! Every time you review, an orphan gets its wings. Or something.


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